What does it mean to Keep Kids Close?
Keeping Kids Close is a fundamental part of success while interacting with our kiddos. It means understanding that your relationship with your child is the most effective tool utilized for healthy development. Keeping Kids Close means the relationship is the best intervention point.
Some key elements of Keeping Kids Close:
- When disciplining, time-INs are utilized instead of time-outs. Reconnect with your child by bringing him in and then redirecting him.
- Helping your child learn to regulate by maintaining a healthy relationship with your child and setting healthy boundaries. This may mean limited outings when he is having a particularly rough period of time in order to prioritize spending time together and meeting his needs. It also can mean reasonably curbing time on the computer and time with peers in order to prioritize time at home.
- Putting yourself in your child’s shoes. Is he really “acting out” to bother you? What’s going on underneath the behavior? Are your expectations too high?
- Preserving your relationship first by engaging in a gentle manner. Due to their past, our kiddos may perceive punishments or yelling as threatening. This may cause them to dissociate or be in a fearful state – not being able to take in any information or redirection.
- Being proactive rather than reactive by noticing triggers and cues. Knowing how your child starts to escalate or what gets him upset or frustrated can help avoid further difficulties.
- De-escalating yourself in order to better meet your child’s needs and be able to bring him in. This means being able to take control without losing control (more about that in our online workshop!).
Keeping Kids Close does not mean invading on your child’s privacy or having unhealthy boundaries. It simply means being connected and attuned to his needs.
#KeepKidsClose is also not just for parents. It is for anyone who engages or works with your child. Is your team on board?
Keeping Kids Close requires some “unlearning.” Traditional approaches of time-outs and punishments tend to be the go-to in our culture. Unfortunately, these don’t work. They involve separation from your child and isolating him – resulting in feelings of further agitation, shame, and perhaps flashbacks of a previous experience in his history of being rejected.
So how do you #KeepKidsClose? Tweet us with the hashtag or let us know in the comments below.
Want more info on how to Keep Kids Close and effective approaches with your kiddos? Sign up for our online workshop!